Most Women want a deep passionate romantic relationship. She wants it more than she lets on. She’s holding back and it’s because building a relationship is like an investment. You have to think about the long-term value, not just how it feels right now. That’s why you may have been confused by her behaviour.
She seems to really like you, but something is holding her back. She’s holding back because there’s another kind of investment every man needs to make other than being attractive – that is showing signs of a long-term partner.
Red flags are the signs you lack the required traits. Here are the red flags –
1. Does he appear reasonably together?
By this – does he look healthy, is the reasonably well-groomed – facial hair trimmed, haircut and styled, doesn’t stink, wears appropriate clean clothing?
Personal appearance can tell you a lot about how he values himself and whether or not he is mentally or physically healthy. If he is depressed, an addict, sick, or mentally disturbed, it could show up in a shabby appearance, or he will look unwell.
2. Does he seem to be evasive, nervous, or hiding something?
He could be cheating on a wife or girlfriend, or he could be part of something criminal. Watch his mannerisms. If he isn’t open about himself on things like what he does for a living, or where he lives or won’t give you contact information, but says he likes you and would like to see you again, take that as a warning he’s hiding something.
If he wants to continue dating and he isn’t hiding anything, he has to cough up SOME contact information. Otherwise, consider yourself a side chick at best when he’s tired of hanging with the wife or girlfriend, and a possible girlfriend of a criminal at worst.
3. Does he appear to be too “smooth” or fast-talking?
Again, he could be hiding something. He could also be lying/conning you-he may not be what he says he is. If he’s slicker than an oil spill, git. Is there any chemistry other than physical attraction? Are you able to talk to this guy?
The conversation should be fairly easy. If it’s like pulling teeth to get him to say anything, or you cannot find something to talk about, that’s not a good sign for future dates or a potential relationship. Remember, no matter how sexy he is, at some point, you gotta get out of bed. Then what?
4. Does he try to get too close too soon?
If he’s invading your personal space (hugging, standing too close, being overly handsy, etc) before you get to know him very well, he might be looking only for a physical relationship.
Until you both know each other, he should maintain some respectful distance from you.
5. Does he ask for you to split the bill?
But as a man, I’m sorry if she gotta pay on the first date when you are the one that asked her out, that ain’t a date, it’s two friends hanging out. Friends split the bill when they go out.
Dating partners on first dates don’t split the bill; one person, usually the asker, will pay the bill. You can ask me to split, or even pay, once we are an established, exclusive couple.
6. Handling rejection poorly
This one is a whole parade of red flags. When a potential partner doesn’t seem to be feeling a spark, there’s no need to throw a tantrum or treat them poorly.
Instead, it’s entirely possible to enjoy a friendly evening and then go your separate ways. You could remain friends or never see each other again, but if you handle it poorly, all you did was prove that they just dodged a bullet.
Talking about how you’ve handled rejection poorly in the past does the exact same thing if you haven’t spent any time on personal growth.
Do not stick it out in a relationship if he tells you whom you can and cannot talk to. This is especially true if he’s limiting your interaction with your own family. This can also extend to controlling what you wear, in a not nice way. Live your life.
It’s normal to be a little jealous from time to time. That said, we don’t have to verbalize every thought in our heads. If you’re with a man who can’t seem to keep it together when you interact with other humans, it’s time to take the bus to ‘splitsville’.
If he can’t stay gainfully employed now, he definitely won’t do it as your relationship grows. You’re basically signing yourself up for taking care of a lazy, grown man. Overlook this fault at your own peril. Now or later, this shit show is going to end. Why waste your time?