Men find all attractive women – as attractive, there is no off-button to our primal desires that come with age or being in a happy relationship. If a man sees an attractive woman, it will trigger an urge or at the least, a curiosity. Men find young women attractive. Given the opportunity, even the most honourable man with the highest values can cheat on his partner, largely determined by his sex drive, if there is a lack of sex in his relationship, if there is a lack of witnesses and if the opportunity is good enough. For example, if a happily married 45-year-old man with two children, in a sexless relationship, finds himself alone on a business trip with access to attractive women there is a much stronger likelihood that he could have sex with one than perhaps his partner might realize or his character might believe.
If you ask a man “do I look fat in this?” So long as the woman is not suffering from significant Body Dysmorphia the honest answer is often yes. The very reason a woman is asking is that the woman in all likelihood sees it herself. Men are no different, often more aware and privately critical but will not tell a woman because they love them and they know it will hurt them.
Men understand that women often simply want to be listened to and not offered solutions. However, they find withholding solutions just as frustrating as women find having them offered to them. This can make it very challenging for men to empathize with women – although they love them, they can sit there and watch a woman cry while pretending to support them, while privately wondering why they don’t just get on with sorting the issue out.
Men resign themselves to and are frustrated by the lack of sex in their long-term relationships, which they blame on women – it is widely accepted as ‘a thing’ that men are more often than not faced with, so much so that they joke about it with their friends as a coping mechanism. Also, frustration or boredom will significantly increase the likelihood of a man having an affair. Men make a clear and real distinction between their personal relationships and sexual fantasies.
For example, a group of friends can go to a strip club, have lap dances, touch the women’ and go home to their partners without feeling any sense of remorse or guilt. Unlike women, there is no emotional involvement with men, it is almost entirely meaningless. The same goes for pornography.
Slutty style and behaviour at a base level trigger something in men whether they admit it or not. They might make all the right noises of disapproval in public but in reality, it turns men on – they just don’t say anything in fear of judgment.
For example, take a photo of a pornstar: horrible make-up, ridiculously large breasts, shockingly trashy clothes. Although men know it’s a pretty awful package – at some base level, it’s still attractive. Even “slut shaming” in conservative societies has an element of apparent sexual voyeurism disguised as disgust. Men feel like they tow a difficult line between domestication and masculinity. Often manifesting as a reluctance to settle down, marry, have kids, reign in certain behaviours, etc. Men will pressure and ridicule their close male friends when they feel they see them being changed, controlled, or henpecked by their partner.
Men see certain behaviours women exhibit such as crying in the workplace as a sign of weakness. They may be sympathetic, concerned, and kind towards them however ultimately there’s a part of their thought process that thinks ‘you’d never find a man do that. If a man’s partner dislikes him from doing certain things or forbids him from an activity, this will rarely stop him from doing it, the behaviour will simply be concealed. Common examples are drug use, smoking, and drinking.