1. People always tell you who they are
Believe them the first time. We tend to ignore the facts and accept and even fall in love with the idea of the people we built up in our minds, based on what we need them to be – not what they truly are. Sooner or later reality will clash with such imaginary constructs and pain is then inevitable.
From people you consider working with to people you consider allowing into your life, try to stay objective and keep idealization to a minimum so that you will be able to discern their real faces before it is too late. It seems hard but it is not: everyone is unintentionally helping you in this. You see, people have an uncontainable urgency to tell you who they truly are. Every Single Time. Only, do not listen to their words. Words are compressed air, they mean little and are worth even less, especially to narcissists who once they get to know you, will say what you need to hear.
It is their actions you need to be paying attention to; their actions always speak the truth about what hides beneath the social mask. And they will tell you who they truly are. So pay attention to be able to hear what they are saying – and believe them. Actions talk. Bullshit walks.
2. Protect your own
Keep everyone else at a distance. A man needs three things: a steel sword to provide for his family; a silver sword to keep the beasts at bay; and a pure heart to be able to distinguish between the two. Sometimes that last part can become a little tricky but you must keep a clear boundary between Home and World.
3. Never betray a friend or a spouse
All those accomplishments were simply the result of hard work and patient dedication. Anyone could do them. Do you know on the greatest things to be proud of? The fact you managed to decline all the presented opportunities and never, ever backstabbed a friend or betrayed the trust of a girl.
4. Do your very best and keep improving every time
If you want to be able, wherever you lay down your head, to sleep with a light heart and a clear conscience, you have to be able to honestly say to yourself: “Today, I did my very best”. Not just gave it a try – but did your very best.
If it was not enough, tomorrow you may get another chance – or maybe not. It does not matter; your very best is all that can be expected from anyone. Including yourself. However, if your best was not enough, you need to examine why. And, if possible, improve yourself so that next time you will meet the challenge fully prepared.
5. Forgive the shortcomings of others every day
When others fail you or even intentionally wrong you, let go and forgive them. Of course, it would be unreasonable to expect anyone to forget, especially major life-altering events, so you may need to forgive them repeatedly, every time the memory springs up. For some time, this may need to be done every day. Yet keep forgiving and let go.
There is no point in wasting your future by dwelling in the past. There is only one direction in life: ahead. And the path is far from easy so try not to burden yourself with old weight. Especially if it is not yours to carry. Because what they did, is not on you, it is on them.
6. This, too, shall pass
No matter the difficulty or misfortune you are currently in, and no matter how deep and dark the hole you seem to be currently trapped in: this, too, shall pass. Happiness is a choice. It is not the place where you find yourself into. It is what you choose to focus upon.