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11 Red Flags You Should Never Ignore In A Relationship

by John Ocholi
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The most important thing regarding dating and ‘red flags’ is to use your common sense. Not all red flags are red flags in all situations and vice versa. If something seems off, do not disregard that immediately.

Also, do not instantly trust somebody. Look at what is there and the person you have in front of you, instead of an idea of associations you may have with them. If something in the relationship doesn’t feel right and you can’t put a finger on it. Trust your gut.

1. Pay Attention To Their Circle Of Friends

If most of their friends are toxic and hold beliefs you disagree with, it’s safe to bet they may share many of those characteristics as well.

2. You Can’t Talk About Your Day With Them

They can’t maintain any friendships outside of your relationship. They feel no need to have a social life as long as they have you to fill that role. They don’t care enough to ask you about your family, your background, your culture, what your childhood was like, or make any attempts to understand what made you the way you are now.

3. Dating Begins To Feel Like A Chore

Going out on dates with them, laughing at jokes you don’t find funny, sending them good morning and good night texts because that’s the only thing keeping the relationship alive. They are never willing to compromise. It’s always their way or the highway.

4. Sarcasm

Especially if its a response to something you tell them about yourself. This is the sign of a sadistic person. Sadists routinely say: ‘I was just making a joke!’ Block them.

5. They Belittle Your Feelings Or Opinions

For whatever reason, either intentionally or accidentally. They either are not capable of understanding your feelings/emotions, or they are not interested in them. In either case, do not let this person stay in your life. It will destroy you.

6. They Carry Past Baggage

Everybody has their past and their experiences, and therefore their own baggage. It is paromont you try to focus on how the person treats their past and how they relate to their past experiences. If somebody has too many issues and they are not focusing on fixing them, or they are stuck in their past for whatever reason – let them go. You will do yourself good.

7. They Talk About Their Ex

This is a common – though not always sure proof- example that they are not over their past experience yet. Especially when they talk negatively about them; if they say they ‘hate’ them, for instance, they are definitely not over their ex – even when they say they are. Opposed to what most people think, hatred is not the opposite of love; indifference is the opposite of love.

8. They Say Disrespectful Things

Either to you or about other people without realizing it. This is a major one and a dealbreaker. What it comes down to are some things you should not have to explain. If people are rude to you or others and they do not realize that what they are saying is not right, just move on.

9. They Are Overly Critical Of Everything

Not only of themselves but also of you, their lives, their friends, their behaviour, the room that you are in. Just let them go.

10. They have no job

This is not always a red flag, as there are individuals who have legitimate reasons for not having a job (such as a disease or other), but it is a red flag when you know that somebody is capable of working but chooses to leech off of government funds, friends, family or others without making any effort to do actual work themselves.

11. They Do Not Want To See You Regularly

Yes, sure we’re all busy and we all have our lives to lead. After having dated for a while, however, you should not be the person he/she gets to meet once a month. If this is the person you will be with for a longer period, just seeing each other once a month is not enough to build a relationship. And if you are both in love, this would be unacceptable for both parties in any case. If they want to spend time with you, they want to spend time with you. If they do not, move on.


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