I shut my door, returned to my meal and quickly finished it with a well troubled mind. I rushed back to Nora’s apartment afterwards, knocking on her door.
I knocked for about twenty minutes but she refused to answer. I tried calling her on phone but she equally refused to pick up the call, leaving me totally worried. I couldn’t imagine how she was feeling.
Of course I definitely knew how painful it feels finding out that the person you care so much for, has no same feelings for you.
‘’Nora please open up. We need to talk. I beg of you’’ I pleaded again and again but she never answered back nor opened her door for me..
Early the next day after dressing up for work, I rushed over to Nora’s apartment once again, praying she talks to me this time around. I was lucky to meet her apartment door open, so I walked in nervously, praying for her not to over react on seeing me.
I ran into Nora in her sitting room. She was well dressed up and in the process of leaving the house. She froze on seeing me while I equally stopped with a forced smile.
‘’good morning’’ she greeted a bit coldly.
‘’please we need to talk. All I need is just five minutes of your time’’ I begged seriously. She silently studied me for some seconds before nodding and breathing deeply.
‘’fine, I have five minutes to spare’’ she muttered with a drawn face. I slowly sat on a couch, making chance for her to sit beside me. She hesitantly obliged.
Holding her hands, I stared into her eyes.
‘’I’m very sorry for neglecting and not checking up on you all these while. I really have no sincere explanation for failing in my duty as a friend. Seriously it always crossed my mind to call you but at the end of the day I do forget. Please forgive me’’ I apologized sincerely.
‘’I really don’t know what to say. I never expected such attitude from you. In fact I purposely stopped myself from calling you on phone just to check if you will miss me but you never even noticed, which means I wasn’t missed at all’’ she complained softly, staring into my eyes.
‘’you know as of last year, I thought we were slowly getting there. I thought we were gradually hitting the top spot. But I don’t understand you anymore’’ she added, forcing me to look down with confusion.
Just like Chinedu hinted, the poor girl was definitely expecting much from our friendship which I wasn’t ready to give.
‘’how the hell do I tell her my true feelings?. How do I tell her about Cassandra?’’ I wondered.
‘’it’s about another woman right?’’ she slowly asked. I swallowed hard, saying nothing.
‘’so all the time I cooked for you, cleaned your house plus every other assistance i rendered meant nothing to you?’’ she asked, freeing her hands from my grasp.
‘’no , no dear’’ I stammered, raising up my face to meet her gaze. She was totally colored up and obviously angry.
‘’I thought we were just great friends. I never imagined you were aiming towards a relationship with me’’ I stammered, but my words kind of pushed her feminine ego to the wall. She sprang up with great spirit. Her eyes blazing red.
‘’you have to leave now. Please leave’’ she shouted. I stood up, drew close and hugged her, greatly surprising the angry girl with my action.
‘’I’m so sorry. I never imagined a beautiful girl like you would have strong feelings for me. I really thought you were assisting and helping me out of pity. Even though I used to feel something strong for you, I couldn’t push my luck by asking you out in order not to betray your trust. You are such a wonderful girl and the last thing I want now is losing your friendship and help’’ I said softly, melting down her heart with my well chosen words.
‘’I met this young girl last Christmas and I have been trying to build a relationship with her. She is nothing close to you in beauty and manners but I have my hopes up’’ I expertly added. She broke free with shock, gazing at me with disbelief. This time around she let the tears in her eyes fall freely.
‘’I’m not a kid and there is nothing to hide from you again. My prayer has always been to marry you . All the help, All the attention, everything was done in expectation of the day you will ask me out. I guess fate has a way of doing things. There isn’t any need hoping on a guy that now has feeling for another girl. I perfectly understand you’’ she breathed, leaving me bleeding and hurt.
I quickly held her once again, holding her face with trembling hands and bringing my face closer to hers. Our lips were just but a hair away for each other.
‘’Nora. Nora I’m now confused’’ I confessed with all my heart….
”a real man don’t get confused over a woman. You are not confused. ” She replied softly, leaving me speechless on what next to say.
It was very obvious she was clearly disappointed in me and at this stage i was a bit confused on taking the lifeline she offered and starting up something with her or putting all my eggs in Cassandra’s basket. But living a life of deceit was something I just couldn’t do.
To be continued…